I am overwhelmed with what is going on with my life since I stopped teaching at the university. It has only been three months but I am mostly enveloped with worries, sadness, loneliness , excitement. panic and what have you.
There are days when I would just sit or lie not doing almost anything-which , I guess, is a yogic thing to do. I would , however, at times cry out of desperation knowing that my ultimate source of joy-teaching- has been taken away from me just because some genius out there would like to change the educational system or something like that. Yes, I am displaced and it pains me.
The good news is – I am happy generally because the freedom is quite big and I am my own person doing anything that I can do to make my life better. Some things that I have actually accomplished for the past three months mean more than the job I had back then. Let me share with you.
- I was able to join the intensive ashtanga teacher’s training on a half scholarship grant. That meant, I only had to pay part of the tuition and serve the school as my counter part. Until now, I am still serving. It is very fruitful for me because my teaching skills are sharpened and my humility improves.
2. Since the training, I have started observing, assisting and teaching classes in different studios. I have never dreamt of becoming a yoga teacher back then. All I wanted was to practice but the universe seemingly has opened another path for me.
3. My online teaching is getting back on its operation. I have met great Japanese souls and my heart is just grateful for them.
4. I enjoy taking care of my plants. I never know I can be a green thumb too.
5. I am able to rest well when I want to. I read books and watch shows on TV or the internet whenever I need to.
6. I have been to beautiful beaches near and far with good people. It’s always healing for me.
6. My practice is becoming more regular and deeper.
There are more reasons for me to be happy than sad. Despite the odds of not having a regular job at the moment, the financial constraint and boredom at times, life really right now is everything that I need. There is this inner peace that constantly sustains me.
I learn each day to be more accepting. I learn how to lift everything up to that higher source that knows exactly where life will take me later. Today’s practice is a manifestation of how good the Universe is.
I send you light and love. Om shant, shanti.