If you want to become whole, let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight, let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything, give everything up.
~ Tao Te Ching~
Only the following items should be considered to be grave faults: not respecting another’s rights: allowing oneself to be paralyzed by fear; feeling guilty; believing that one does not deserve the good or ill that happens in one’s life; being a coward.
~Paulo Coelho~ (Like the Flowing River)
It has been almost a month since I last checked in here and I am just glad I have finally gotten the courage to sit and write and even update my header image.
My life has been built constantly with the highs and lows. My emotions are insane. I am always hopeless, frustrated, anxious, teary and depressed. Then I am also surprised at how quick these phases change into joy, glee, bliss, peace and life itself. Then the cycle is repeated without me knowing it.
Since I am still staying at my mom’s, I am not excused at seeing all the difficulties my family is into. There seems to be an endless need for money for her medication and the neccesities at home. It is only my sister who has a stable job.
I often cry and ask the higher being as to why I am brought into this family. I am getting suffocated at how unceasing our sufferring is. I am really whining. I am in fact wanting to forget them from my memory. That’s how tired I am.
There is toxicity in the cycle. I am 47 and I feel that there has not been any change. We still live in the same place. I dislike being here. I want us to live in a newer, nicer, cleaner and safer abode but…
I want to travel, in fact, I am waiting for my visa to be approved. This is my only hope. I just pray the Universe gives me this chance.
The only thing that keeps me stll in tact is my daily practice. Yes, I still do.
Thanks for taking time to read my lament. I am still tired now. By the way, I am writing this as a woman who is in her perimenopausal stage. So, you know where I’m coming from, right?
“The greatest guru is your inner self.Truly he/she is that supreme teacher.”
“Since I had nothing left to lose, I am free.”
“Nothing can bring the mind continuous happiness, because the mind itself changes constantly. If we know that,we stop clinging & accept change.”
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”